[6 Okt] Visiting the Tomb: “No, He is Not There”

Sabtu, 6 Oktober 2018

Jarum jam sudah menunjukkan pukul 5 sore saat kami tiba di rumah orang tuaku di Depok. Terlambat satu jam dari rencana semula. Papaku menyarankan untuk pergi ke makam Glassy besok pagi saja karena Sabtu sore jalanan macet, bisa makan waktu satu jam untuk ke sana, sehingga hari pastilah sudah gelap saat tiba di sana karena tidak ada penerangan. Aku setuju dengannya, karena memang aku ingin Gege J dan Adek J turut serta ke sana.

Suamiku ingin ke sana sore itu juga, sesuai rencana semula. Walau pada akhirnya dia setuju untuk berangkat besok pagi, tapi air mukanya menunjukkan ketidakpuasan. Mamaku menyarankan untuk berangkat sekarang saja, tanpa anak-anak, yang penting suamiku senang. Apa pun kondisi pemakaman, makam terlihat atau tidak terlihat, yang penting sudah keturutan. Akhirnya ku putuskan untuk berangkat sore itu juga seperti rencana semula, tapi tanpa anak-anak. Ku pikir-pikir ada baiknya juga ada alasan untuk tidak membawa anak-anak ke sana, karena aku ingin menikmati kunjungan pertamaku ke makam Glassy. Tak perlu kuatir anak-anak dan babysitter mereka melihatku menangis… (Papa tetap harus ikut karena ia yang mengetahui letak makam).

Matahari sudah hampir terbenam seluruhnya ketika kami tiba disana jam 6 sore. Tak seperti biasanya, suamiku membukakan pintu mobil untukku dan mengulurkan tangannya untuk membantuku turun dari mobil. Mungkin dia pikir aku akan terlalu sedih…?

Dua pemuda bergegas menghampiri dan berinisiatif membuang bunga salib yang telah kering, menyapu makam, dan menyiram air di atas makam. Matahari telah terbenam saat mereka selesai.

Suamiku melihat ke makam-makam lain di sekeliling dan bertanya padaku apakah bisa membuat makam Glassy menjadi permanen. “Setahuku harus menunggu sampai tanahnya turun yang artinya petinya sudah lapuk dan ambruk… tapi coba kutanyakan pada Papa dulu”, jawabku. Papa bilang sudah bisa dari sekarang kalau kami mau. Dia pun berdiskusi dengan dua pemuda tadi untuk mencari informasi.

Aku kaget juga melihat suamiku terpikir membuat makam Glassy menjadi permanen, karena setahuku di budayanya jenazah di kremasi, bukan dikubur. Dan dia ingin melakukannya secepatnya. Kalau Papa-ku tidak bilang ke kami “Nanti saja, kita cari informasi dulu ke manajemen pemakaman”, maka bisa jadi kami sudah mau transfer saja uangnya ke kedua pemuda tadi. Mungkin sama sepertiku, suamiku mau semua urusan ini segera beres…

Papa yang mengobrol dengan kedua pemuda tadi memberikan waktu bagi aku dan suamiku berdua saja di hadapan makam Glassy. Tidak seperti biasanya, suamiku merangkul pundakku erat…

Ku pandangi tanah makam Glassy yang basah dan kosong tanpa bunga segar. Ku lihat dua rangkaian bunga yang sudah kering di sisi kanan dan kiri nisannya. Ah… bunga itu dari dua minggu yang lalu. Betapa lekasnya bunga gugur dan mengering! Dan oh, jasad mungil Glassy di bawah sana pastilah mulai membusuk juga. Kami manusia fana! Betapa raga jasmani ini hanyalah tenda!

Ku gelengkan kepalaku, dan berkata lirih lebih kepada diriku sendiri: “He is not there, Ba… What is DOWN there is just his body, his earthly body. He is UP there, with Jesus, with God, in a new body. With perfect lung. He can breath. He is happy. He is NOT down there. We’ll see him again”. Suamiku menjawab dengan merangkulku lebih erat…

Kami kemudian berfoto seadanya dalam kegelapan malam sebelum meninggalkan makam Glassy. “So long, Glassy…”, lirihku dalam hati sambil memandang makamnya dari dalam mobil yang bergerak meninggalkan tempat parkir. “Mama will be back, but don’t know when. Perhaps won’t be as frequent as I previously thought I would. You are UP there. You have a working lung. You are happy”.

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